Epiphany 2

I am a trans guy.

I have not thought about this maybe intentionally because my brain was trying to protect me. But now that I know, I don’t understand why it was trying to protect me. This is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I didn’t think so for a long time though. It was tough. Being someone your whole life to realize you weren’t that person at all is definetely one of the hardest things that I had to do my entire life. The name, the body, the soul you grew up with has to change. Because something felt of your whole life but you didn’t know what. Now I do know. Now that I know it is definetely easier.

I was drunk when I realized that I was a trans guy. I saw a video of a YouTuber’s one year on testosterone journey. I realized that’s exactly how I felt and how I wanted to be. I had know gender was fluid but I never knew my gender could be. But why not? People can be different and still deserve love. You have to treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend. You should accept who you are as well.

Crying in my best friend’s arms and saying over and over “I’m a trans guy, I’m a trans guy…” was the easiest part. The next day, not accepting the fact that I might be a guy I asked everyone to forget what happened though. But I couldn’t.

After thinking about it and making more research on Trans Men, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Telling my father was the first step for me. My family needed to know. They deserved to know. But this is just the case for me. Not every family needs to know (or deserves to know) their kid’s gender.

Now that I’m on hormones and I have undergone some of the masculinising operations, I know that this was who I was the whole time. This epiphany was what saved my life. I have never been happier and I won’t stop being happy despite the people who might disagree with my life.