Everything I Know About Love at Twenty-five

Recently, I have finished reading Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. When I bought this book a year and a half ago, I read the first three pages. I always do that when I try to decide which book I should read the next. And it made me laugh. I loved her immediately. 

Dolly the Queen, – I’m going to call her Queen from now on – in her memoir, portrays her knowledge of love at different ages. She talks about the adventures she went through with her close friends when the MSN messenger was around. Then Facebook, then Tinder. Her portrayal of events and metaphors made me burst into tears from laughter so many times. She is a funny, sassy, bold queen. 

She doesn’t only talk about the funny stuff, be prepared to cry. She also handles death, friendship, heartbreak, depression, eating disorders, existential crises, all the things that make us humans but also miserable. What she went through is something we all go through. She made me see the things that I didn’t want to accept again, and she taught me new perspectives, too. 

Here’s what I know about love at the age of twenty-five – with the help of my queen:

·      If a man doesn’t understand basic communication, just don’t try to make him understand. Communication comes with talking and listening for both parties. If they don’t show respect to your talking, do not waste your precious time and leave.

·      Do not prioritise your boyfriend/girlfriend over your family. Do not cancel plans with your family just because you want to see your boyfriend/girlfriend. Spend more time with your family before it’s too late.

·      Do not see each other every day. It will be boring shortly.

·      Do not spend most of your time in your 20s with your significant other. Spend some time alone and with your friends. Go travel. Do the things you wanted to do with your lover but never did alone. You will never be in your early 20s ever again. 

·      If a man loves you because you are thin, he’s no man at all.

·      If a man tells you your body would look better if you could work out a little, leave him. No man, no husband should comment on a woman’s body. 

·      If you cannot break up with someone because of the fear of hurting, do it. Might as well hurt them before they hurt you first.

·      If a man tells you constantly that he doesn’t understand you after your fights, don’t say anything, just leave.

·      Do not settle for less. What you want is not too much. Do not lower your expectations. If a man is just less than what you expect, he doesn’t deserve you at all.

·      Listen to your gut. If your heart, mind, all of your organs tell you to run, RUN. They always tell the truth. 

·      If a man prioritises his friends and puts you second, even if you are having a bad day, or let’s say, you’re having a painful day and he is still not around, what are you doing babes? LEAVE HIM.

·      Do not make a man the centre of your life. They come and go. You don’t have to change routines every once in a while, a man leaves and another comes back. 

·      If a man laughs at you while you’re talking seriously about something, congratulations, you’re with a child!

·      You don’t have to find love immediately just because all your friends have. Not everyone is lucky enough to find true love. 

·      The worst feeling in the world is being dumped because they say they don’t love you anymore.

·      The best feeling in the world is realising you became prettier and your ex became uglier. 

·      Another best feeling in the world is getting revenge over your heartbreak. Revenge is not a bad thing when it feels this gooooood!

·      Do not hide your emotions, thoughts over fear of losing. Better lose them to losing your opinions and feelings. 

·      Know your worth. No man can treat you like garbage. 

·      If communication feels impossible with a man – meaning, if a single word cannot get through his ears, and he just keeps roasting you and uplifts himself – leave in the middle of the conversation. He doesn’t deserve to be listened.

·      Young love does not last long. Face with that.

·      The one might not be the one after a couple of years. 

·      Just because you are comfortable with someone, it doesn’t mean you love them, or they are the right ones. 

·      Prioritise your physical and mental health, and career first. Once these things are settled, no man is important.