Dilemmas

Lately, I’ve been feeling that I lost all of my morality, moral codes, and ethics. Once Halsey said, “My moral compass is on a vacation.” That feeling has been with me for a long time, and it feels like I am a creature filled with anger and emptiness. Just a leaf, not a tree or grass, always underfoot.

I have so many dilemmas now, I want to be kind and that’s the moral code, right? But if I were kind, would they consider me weak? I want to say things that once considered truth, but should I say it? Would they hurt me? Would they support me? If I tell my friends that I am a different person now, what would they think? Should I fight for the things that I believe, or should I be silent? What is the new ethics now or have we lost it all? Well, I don’t know. I just look at the world and I think, maybe we need an “avatar”. Such as “Aang” who is always kind, generous, calm and so sure about everything, every rule. Maybe he could bring peace to the world finally. If that is even possible now.

How can we be moral again? How can we be not afraid of being kind again? I know one should start by themselves, but should I just allow people to step on me? I want not to care at all, I want to forgive and forget but I can’t since the problems will always crawl to my knees and suffocate me. I had no idea how bad the world is. I had no idea that there were so many people who wanted to hurt anyone. I am just wishing to go back to that little “jar” of mine where I don’t have to deal with anything. Just crawl and feel only me not the rest of the world. To be alone by myself. Just to think and only feel my kindness and compassion. I just want my moral compass back and live in that little jar where once before a strawberry jam was placed.