Expectations

I expect you to be happy. I expect you to be thoughtful. I expect you to be healthy. They expect me to be successful. They expect me to be nice. We all expect things from someone. But what about handling the disappointment afterwards?

Is it fair that this should happen just because I expect something from someone? Is it a reality? Is it normal to have expectation? Is it wounding me instead of healing me?

When it comes to relationships; family, friendship, or whatever you want, we all have expectations. Life is meaningful as long as we expect and want something. Relationships mean something when expectations are fulfilled. But I do not know if it is healthy or not.

When you give worth to someone, you expect the same worth. Is it normal? When you love someone, you expect the same type of love. You want to be handled the way you handle people. You want to be forgiven by the people you forgive. Is it not normal?

When I am sad, I expect to be listened to because I listen to people. When I am angry, I want to talk, because I talk to people. But do I have that right? Just because I do something nice, should be rewarded? Will I feel better if I am treated that way?

Will I ever feel better? Will it ever be enough? Will all these expectations and disappointments they bring end? But what will I do if it ever ends? Do I know what to do except expecting? I do not want to believe that it is my fault to expect something from this life or from the people it brings. Is not expecting humanly? Is it not normal?

Is there anything normal?

I do not know how to handle all of my feelings and thoughts, which never leave me alone. I know a thing. And that is acceptance. Sometimes you need to accept what you cannot control. And I cannot control my expactations.

Expecting is harming me but I cannot control. It is like an addiction. I do not want to do that, but I cannot live without that.