Do Not Read This Book.

What makes life little – heartbreak, arrogance, fame, or just having friends that care about you deeply but you feel lonely and unworthy no matter what? 

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara tells the story of a group of friends: Willem, JB, Malcolm, and Jude. Although it mainly centres around Jude, this book talks about how friendship grows and dies through the years and how one’s life gets little. It is as if the author pictured all of the struggles that people go through in life and portrayed them in four people. 

Someone can dream of being a star and perform for millions of people. Someone can be wealthy enough to do everything they want but still wish to break down the stereotypes and be eager to prove them wrong. Someone can be as tactless as possible yet also smart. And someone can be just a closed box, stuck in the past, waiting for a moment to feel worthy even though they are surrounded by people that are caring and compassionate.

When you read the back cover of A Little Life, you may think that you are going to read a beautiful love story. Well, you think wrong. Yes, the book tells us a love story at some point, but do not wait for a heartwarming, dreamy one. 

The book welcomes us with the introduction of the friend group. Willem and Jude look for an apartment together. It is hard to find a suitable one because Jude is physically challenged. As pages turn, we read the characters’ life stories and how their lives change. We welcome new characters. We get angry, we smile through the paragraphs, but mostly, we cry. A lot. 

We learn highly about Jude’s life. As we read, we impatiently wait for the moment to learn how he became the way he is, the way his body does not function. Once we know, our first crying happens. Then we wait for his happiness to appear. It is as if we wait for our lives to take a turn. Our lives do take turns too, just as Jude’s does. However, I must warn you, it is not the end. Life takes a lot of turns (and this book does it with plot twists – good but GUT-WRENCHING ones), and once you are happy, you may be disappointed in what you have. Sometimes happiness is not enough. 

I was kind of nervous when I started reading this book because I had seen many people crying while reading it, and I knew it would destroy me. And it did. The way the author handles the traumas of the characters and portrays them crushed me. At some point, I remember asking the author, “What was the reason for writing this? A few moments of catharsis would have been enough,” while trying to silence my tears. 

The characters are deep, funny, depressed, cruel, and evil. The way that they evolve is moving. But not all of them do. Some of them do not have much time to evolve. With A Little Life, you forget about your own issues or challenges (unless they are the same with the characters’), the outside world and you find yourself becoming one with the characters. 

But should you read this book? Yes, if you feel like you are too happy that it is unfair for some people and you just want to make yourself a bit sad. Yes, if you love to read books in which the characters are complex, fairly unlucky and unfortunate, and want to discover different perspectives. Yes, if you are just bored and want to read the books that touched everybody. Yes, if you like to read fictional characters’ traumas with touching quotes.

But no, if you are already struggling with your life and find yourself crying frequently. No, if you just quit your job and you don’t know where your life is going. No, if you feel depressed already. No, if you are easily affected by the books that tell harrowing stories.

I am trying not to spoil anything from the book, but be aware: if you read this book, you may suffer from depression for two months. In other words, you may become the man on the cover. Speaking from experience. Well, enjoy your reading. Toodle-oo.