Like Mother, Like Daughter

When I was in my final year of university, I was introduced to both Jamaica Kincaid and her writing thanks to my beloved professor's recommendation in the Women Writers in English course. While my professor's brilliance has always been a source of inspiration for me, I must say that through what she taught in that class, the female authors she introduced, her insights, and her out-of-class conversations and advice, she has gone beyond her influence. I owe much of who I am and where I am today to her. I couldn't be on this platform without dedicating a piece of writing to the person who supported my dream of becoming a writer from the very beginning and encouraged me to keep going at every opportunity.

In the classes where we studied women writers, she not only explained the societal norms and gender roles we already knew and regrettably had to know, but also introduced us to women we had never even heard of before. Jamaica Kincaid is one of those for me. As a woman, I have seen in my life and through my experiences how difficult it is to make one's voice heard in the world. And to my wonderful professor, I offer my thanks for introducing us to all the female writers whose voices she helped us hear, and for her efforts in helping me find and express my own voice.

There are common themes, motifs, and symbols used in the works of women writers. Although we may not want to accept them, our shared experiences stemming from the gender roles society assigns us push us towards these themes, symbols, and motifs as writers. But the theme that surprised me the most, by far, was the mother-daughter relationship. The reason for my surprise at this theme, which really shouldn't have surprised me, is probably because I expected the focus to be on the attitudes we experienced growing up from our fathers, yet it was the mother-daughter relationship that stood out. 

Unfortunately, the gender roles and societal norms assigned to us were not only imposed on us but also on our mothers, grandmothers, and their mothers. We can clearly see this in Jamaica Kincaid's novel Annie John. While societal norms assigned to women may be common, each society has its own unique culture, so expectations of women can vary from one society to another. Annie John's mother moves from Dominica to Antigua after a conflict with her parents. A different country, a different society, and a colonised one. Imagine, you've already moved to a different community, and that community itself is also changing. Annie John is a coming-of-age novel that explores the themes of women's gender roles, colonisation, and the mother-daughter relationship.

Annie begins telling the story at the age of 10. In the first chapter, Annie’s obsession with death is linked to a lie she tells her mother, and by the end of the chapter, even though her mother tells her to eat outside, she still gives Annie a goodnight kiss before she sleeps. The time she spends with her mother, her mother taking her out and teaching her things, and Annie finding her mother beautiful and intelligent eventually lead to Annie hating her mother as the events unfold. Additionally, Annie’s father has children with other women, and these women curse at Mrs. John in the street. The first crack in the relationship begins when Annie comes home from school and witnesses her parents' intimacy, feeling hatred toward her mother for being excluded from this union.

Annie feels neglected by her mother and fills this void with the friendships she forms. As her mother discovers the lies and things Annie hides, we see Annie growing more distant from her. With the onset of her menstruation, we witness that Annie no longer plays with marbles, marking her transition from childhood to adolescence. After experiencing unpleasant moments at school, when Annie comes home expecting her mother to cheer her up, she sees her parents focused on each other and oblivious to her own unhappiness. When Annie realises that what her mother presented as a rice is actually a breadfruit so that Annie would eat, she feels betrayed by her mother. This completely leads Annie to hate her.

Annie's unhappiness creates a void within her that she cannot define. She wishes to move to Belgium, where Jane Eyre visits, so that her mother will never find her again. When she sees her reflection in the window, she thinks about how ugly she is, which drives her further into isolation. In the city centre after school, she recognises one of the children who teased her from her childhood and tries to engage in conversation. When her mother returns home, she tells Annie that she saw her flirting with the boys and calls her a slut. Annie responds with "like mother, like daughter." After this incident, Annie clearly feels the distance between her and her mother. During dinner, she asks her father for a trunk just like her mother has. This trunk symbolizes identity and conveys Annie's desire to form her own identity.

Afterwards, Annie has a mental breakdown and becomes as dependent as a baby. Doctors and obeah women come to look after her, but she cannot heal. This continues until her grandmother visits. No remedy or medicine heals Annie, except for her grandmother holding her for days. When Annie turns seventeen, she leaves Antigua.

Annie John has become a book for me that warns against the paths mothers take, which their daughters should not follow, resulting in the daughters' hatred, while ultimately showing that the daughters slowly become like them. Annie's mother also left her homeland before turning 17 due to a conflict with her parents and had to build a new life for herself. She had to struggle with being treated as the another wife of her husband. Annie’s hatred toward her mother stems from her learning to see life while growing up and her inability to find the support she expected from her mother. It is known that a mother should be a source of comfort and tenderness, but in this novel, we clearly see that it is not so for Annie. The notion of a mother being a haven of comfort and tenderness is a societal norm imposed on mothers. We all know that Annie's mother calls her a slut because of the societal norms she has experienced and accepted. Annie hates her mother because she does not want to have a different personality and identity than her mother, and realizing this is painful. The presence of the mother-daughter relationship in the works of female writers provides an alternative and detailed perspective that allows us to see the gender roles and societal norms imposed on women from two different angles. We all grow up in contradictions with our mothers. Some of us do not receive the love we want and deserve, while some do not even know their mothers. But within us, there are pieces of them, and one day you realize that you check to ensure the stove is off more than five times before leaving home, just like your mother.