Nesta Archeron

"A Court of Thorns and Roses" book series is one of the best known fantasy romance series in the whole world, which is written by Sarah J. Maas. The series created a buzz with its storyline and characters among book lovers. Some of the most known and loved characters are Rhysand, Feyre and Cassian. But there is also a very popular character, who has caused controversy and is both beloved and hated by different groups of readers; Nesta Archeron.

Nesta Archeron is the oldest daughter/ sister of the Archeron Family. In the first four books of the series, she was known as the cold, careless and angry oldest sister of Elain Archeron and Feyre Archeron. The deep dive into her characteristics and past was made in her own and currently the fifth book of the series “A Court of Silver Flames”.  Maas, focuses on Nesta’s character growth and change, beginning from her past to her current life, after she forcefully turned into a fae from a human. 

Nesta’s character gets negative reactions from most of the readers before they read “A Court of Silver Flames” because her behavior and personality were described as stone-cold and ruthless towards everyone around her. Little did they know, she was never courageous enough to "feel". She never let herself feel sadness and hated feeling weak. With her invisible but heavy responsibilities and shattered past on her shoulders, she let herself only feel one thing; rage.

Throughout a big part of the storyline, Nesta was known as emotionless, cold-hearted. Even her sisters and friends, who became her family later, were like strangers to her. Every other character was good at judging her, but none of them tried to really understand her or empathize with her; not until her love interest/mate Cassian did it after a long time. When he tried to get close to her emotionally, she pushed him away. Because she was afraid to love, to trust someone and most importantly, she was afraid to let herself feel something other than rage, the emotion, which was her armor, protection.

Besides all of these, she was the "oldest sister"; the sister who had to feel every emotion internally, stay collected, realize her mother's dreams, be a rock for her younger sisters and be tough to protect herself from the outside world. She was the sister, who couldn't even cry because of the lifelong suppressed feelings. Most importantly, she was the oldest sister, who protected her younger sisters, sacrificed herself and saved their lives. With her mother dying with big expectations from her and her father dying right in front of her eyes, she couldn't help but go numb and cold. It wasn't her choice, but was the path her life made her walk through.

The fact she was forced to turn into a fae, pushed her to shut herself off from the world. With an unwanted life in an unwanted species' body, Nesta ended up drowning her feelings in alcohol. Even the man, who loved her, couldn't take her out of that hopeless period at the beginning because she didn't let herself feel or trust to someone. She pushed people away, made others put some distance between her and themselves. She wasn't exactly lovely towards others because she couldn't be. Nobody knew about her inner battles with herself. It took some time for her to feel safe enough to open up to her partner, her family and friends. Her journey of accepting her true self and learning how to let herself feel wasn't easy, but she succeeded it. "She climbed that mountain."

Readers, who hated her in the beginning, started to relate to her while reading her side of the story. I was one of the readers, who judged during reading the first few books of the series. But when I started to read her book, I felt like I was looking at my reflection in the mirror. I have found pieces of myself in her flaws, which I have judged before. Maybe that was the reason why many readers had negative thoughts about her in the beginning; she reminded them a part of themselves, which even they self judged or hid from others. But Nesta made me and the others see themselves under a different, kinder light. She taught many of us that it was possible to be ourselves without the fear to feel, even though it takes time.

It's always possible to make peace with ourselves...