What We Have Learnt from “The Art of Loving”?

Erich Fromm’s 1956 book "The Art of Loving" criticizes the popular conception of love and leads us to learn the correct versions of loving. So, there are lots of important quotes and parts of the book, but I’d like to share the most catchy and affective ones.

“In the sphere of material things giving means being rich. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. The hoarder who is anxiously worried about losing something is, psychologically speaking, the poor, impoverished man, regardless of how much he has. Whoever is capable of giving of himself is rich.” (Fromm, 24)

“Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved/' Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love." Immature love says: "I love you because I need you!' Mature love says: "I need you because I love you" “ (Fromm, 41)

“Only in the love of those who do not serve a purpose, love begins to unfold.” (Fromm, 48)

“Erotic love is exclusive, but it loves in the other person all of mankind, all that is alive.” (Fromm, 55)

“Freud holds that the selfish person is nar- cissistic, as if he had withdrawn his love from others and turned it toward his own person. It is true that selfish per- sons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either.” (Fromm, 61)

“In this respect, in the infantile dependence on an anthro- pomorphic picture of God without the transformation of life according to the principles of God, we are closer to a primi- tive idolatric tribe than to the religious culture of the Middle Ages, In another respect our religious situation shows fea- tures which are new, and characteristic only of contemporary Western capitalistic society.” (Fromm, 105)

“Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit, considering his position and the situation on the personality market, He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature. His main aim is profitable exchange of his skills, knowledge, and of himself, his "personality package" with others who are equally intent on a fair and profitable exchange. Life has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume.” (Fromm, 105)