Why Am I Like This?

According to the research conducted throughout Turkey in 2022, one of the most searched questions starts with “Why?” The most searched question is "Why am I not loved?" while the order is as follows:

1 - Why am I not loved?

2 - Why am I so ugly?

3 - Why was I born?

4 - Why am I excluded?

5 - Why am I a loser?

6 - Why am I crying?

7 - Why am I like this?

8 - Why am I alone?

9 - Why am I alive?

10 - Why did I not get married?

When I saw these results, I realized that I was asking the same thing when I looked in the mirror. Because adapting to today's standards brings with it criticism in a way that does not improve yourself, starting from the external appearance. Actually, I think these questions arise for a very superficial reason. For example, a single Instagram story or video we see about the vigor of people who get up at 5 a.m. It seems like we are stuck in the middle of not being anyone while trying to be everyone. In fact, this is quite strange, namely the loss of self and becoming nothing, arising from the desire to become everyone. These have no scientific basis but are just my own opinions. It seems that many of the subjects that people define as perfect in the region I live in today are starting to become the same. With the entrance of social media into our lives, we have become more influenced by each other, which may be normal because we are social beings and we try to impose ourselves somehow. Is it about us or does everyone else have a say in our body and thoughts?

When I was in high school, a close friend of mine told me that my nose wasn't that perfect. While I hadn't noticed this until then, after that day I started to spend my time in the mirror, raising my nose and thinking, "How do I look like this?" Questioning is not a bad thing, but letting other people's thoughts define us and convincing ourselves that they are our thoughts is a dangerous thing. Because, although it is common today, it is a fact that the perception of beauty causes many psychological problems and, unfortunately, sometimes ends people's lives.

So is there an end to this? So will these questions ever come to an end? I think it will never come because I think almost all of us are insecure and need to be loved. We do anything to make ourselves feel good for just one second, and we live in the habit of ignoring bad feelings. This is not for everyone, but I wanted to convey to you what I observed in my environment.

Perhaps not being good enough is not being good enough. And all the patterns we make up in our heads are actually a big string of lies. What would it be like to live away from judgment?

A song recommendation: https://open.spotify.com/track/0z29wv0x2IXrpWxNgICET7?si=93ce2fa379ff4866