Foolish one

You ruined me so beautifully.

Actually, it's hard to explain

If you were by my side, you would deny what I said

Your mouth was like an anonymous social media account

You used to say bad words to people you said you loved

And you'd come and kiss my face like you didn't do it yourself

It would all sound pretty simple, I'd apologize to you for everything I shouldn’t do before

Just because you hurt me, I would like to fall on your knees again

Because you always acted like you only needed me when I needed you


Every day I told my father I wanted to leave the town earlier

I'd rather be far away from you than be in the middle of your lies

The words of people like you would choke me with my sobs at night

While I was counting the stars, you would drown the light with darkness

And when I left, you hugged everyone you spoke badly behind


It's your birthday, you're smiling from the screen

Were you just unhappy with me or are you deluding yourself?

Why do you hold so tight to the people you told me to stay away from?

Was I the foolish one?

You treated everyone you hated like your favorite


I'm exhausted now

I feel like I'm the one who left everyone

I loathe myself just because I was exhausted and slammed the door on you

And when you say I've changed

I was just doing a few things I love

You ruined me so beautifully

And I can't get over my anger at you


ps: I wrote this to a friend in my sophomore year of high school. To a friend who constantly made me feel like everything was my fault. If someone accuses you of just being "you", make sure they don't deserve to exist in your life.