Stream of consciousness

My heart broke on New Year's Eve

I wrote you songs with my out-of-tune guitar

I lived in the stories I made up in my mind

It didn't help me deny the end of real life

I created an endless imaginary universe

And I started to think more

If people in the real world thought this much as I did

The real world wouldn't be blackish, would it?

And I wanted them to think too

So they'd be a little bit better or worse, wouldn't they?

Did you hear the noise which is in my mind?

It feels like I'm in a movie that will never end

I hated even the repeated happiness after a while

Forgetting that everything exists with its opposite

Didn't make me a good person

I was just a lousy person.

Out of my head, I decided to let you go

And if I let you go

I swear I won't get hurt anymore

And your smile as you watch me fall

I will always remember it all too well

I will never forgive those who expect me to pretend to be happy when I'm unhappy

I won't open my heart to those who don't understand that just because I like to walk doesn't mean I like crowds.

As I spend all my breaths on the people I want to meet

I won't take it anymore when people I ignore greet me

If there wasn't something missing inside of me, maybe my eyes wouldn't be filled with so many tears.

Or the memories that I watch with admiration without stopping

They couldn't gnaw at me now

Everything is pretty much and it's so pointless

Enslaving a few smiles to do nothing

Still, I expected to laugh