The Peace In My Comfort Zone

All my life, I was so sure that I did not have a comfort zone. I was able to do anything. I used to do many things without hesitation. But, somehow, something has happened. I think I just grew up; many things have become harder to experience. It may be because of social anxiety, my financial situation, or my mental health. But something has changed, and recently, I have been able to feel that change more than ever.

I have always been familiar with the term comfort zone. I have always been aware that it may affect many people's lives. But I have never thought that it would also affect me one day. During my teenage years, I was pretty reckless. I did not care anything more than a day. I was always able to do things that scared me. I tried different types of activities, and I was in different types of friend groups. I used to be able to go out every day for all day without being willing to leave. But, just like I said, something happened.

Now, this comfort zone has had its costs. At least, I noticed that much. For example, I have not been able to watch any show besides Friends. Friends has always been my comfort show. If I am anxious, sad or just happy, I prefer to watch Friends. But, I used to be able to watch other shows, too. Not anymore, though. Lately, watching a new show has become to be a big burden on my shoulders.

I majored in English Language and Literature, and I have been reading English classics for a really long time. I mean, I thought I was really bored of them. But, I realized that I could not finish a book if it was not an English classic. I started reading Blindness by Jose Saramago. Can you guess what happened? I did not want to read that book. Then, I thought I would give it a break and chose one of Agatha Christie's books. And, I just finished it. Then, I read Woolf, then Plath... And it continued. I cannot read a book if it is not a classic work by an English author.

I have been a huge Sims player. I have played Sims 2, Sims 3 and my favorite is Sims 4. This summer, I have played Sims 4 for like 40 hours. Without an exaggeration. And, it was not enough. Because, I am also obsessed with VALORANT. Lately, these two are the only games I play. I buy other games, but I never play them. Or I just play them for 20 minutes and get bored.

Now, I will challenge myself because I am tired of the power this zone has on me. It is getting uncomfortable as the days pass. I am pretty sure, if you are struggling, you should see a professional. But, I love to challenge myself. And, I will. Each day, I will try to do things that will change the way I live. For example, tomorrow; I will wake up early, and go swimming all by myself. I have never done this before. And, I will probably walk more than usual or do yoga for my physical health. I have bought a new book, that is not an English classic. And I will read that. I will force myself to read if I do not want to. I will watch the shows that have been on my list for a long time. I will play the games that I want to.

Today was basically a day of awareness for me. When I was just scrolling, I realized that I was watching, not living at all. So, I will work to change that before this summer ends. This blog is for me to encourage myself more, and for you to see that you are not alone. Life is not easy, but we should be eager to live, no matter what. People do not experience things equally, so do not forget that your feelings and the way you handle them are perfectly unique.

Thank you for reading! I hope you have found a piece for you, or I hope you have been inspired. Leave that zone, and create a zone where you feel anything but boredom. See you in my next blog post!