The Problem with Harriet in Doris Lessing’s The Fifth Child

Doris Lessing's The Fifth Child shows us a seemingly functioning family until the birth of the fifth child. Can we really say that it was a functioning family and everything goes into shambles after Ben’s, the fifth child’s, birth; or was it already a broken family, even before Harriet and David’s, parents, marriage?

The book starts with Harriet and David and where they meet with each other. Both Harriet and David are conservative people, still trying to live according to Victorian social norms even though they are in the '60s now. David is supposed to look after the family financially while Harriet is at home, taking care of the children and the house; but this does not go functionally. They cannot afford all these children and they are dependent on their parents, Harriet keeps giving birth to other children without listening to her body and/or her mental health. David is already problematic with his egocentric attitude, but Harriet, complying with Victorian patriarchal norms, loses herself, and everything blows up with the fifth child's birth. She cannot keep going like this anymore.

The problem with Harriet is that she willingly gives up on her individuality and her rights to her body. She does not say "No" to David. They are not living according to their money, they have no plan for their future at all, and on top of that she is stuck with a husband that lives according to "his purpose". For her, all these frustrations are symbolized by Ben. The only thing that is wrong with Ben is that he has a father who does not know anything about family and love, and a mother so harsh on herself, so complying with everything that in the end she just can become neither a mother nor a woman.

What is really sad about this book was seeing a woman that gives up on herself in Harriet. She cannot even understand herself, how her body and her mentality are in total ruins. How can we expect her to understand what her children need? She is horrible to herself in the first place. She was physically in pain while she was pregnant with her fifth child. That pain also made her weak mentally. In that state, she also has to take care of her house and the other children. It is not her fault to feel tired of all of these, but it is her fault that she blames her child because of it.

During my four years at university, Doris Lessing's The Fifth Child and the story of Ben and Harriet was one of the saddest things that I read. Reading about a woman who got lost in the patriarchal society willingly and sucked her children with her into this abyss was so real for me that I cried. She pays for the consequences of her compliance with both her and Ben's life. Doris Lessing gives an incredible lesson on how important to be independent in all ways as a woman through Harriet.